Want you all AROUND me

If you actually knew how much i fall for you... you'd be left speechless

Real relationship happens when WE are ready to be apart TOGETHER... and you are my special person that i want to annoy for the rest of my life!

♥♥♥Pela♥♥♥

Have i told you lately?

Have i told you lately that i LOVE you?
Have i told you there's no one else above you?
YOU feel my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do

For the morning sun and it's glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
YOU fill my life with laughter
YOU can make it better
Ease my troubles that's what you do

There's a love that's divine
And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the of the day
We should give thanks and pray
To the ONE...

Have i told YOU latelty that I LOVE YOU?

PS : I never ever can say GOODBYE to YOU...

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

Days without YOU

You never knew who loved YOU most...
You never knew who you love the most...
You never knew the star you admired from far was actually by your side all along...
You never knew that this world is full of so many things you never know...

In matters of heart, there will always be the things that we don't understand. The only thing we can do is keep trying and showing what we feel and how much we care.
I'm simply wishing that i have someone who can be here with me through all the good and bad times and someone whom i can be happy just by share my home-made meals...

I want the deepest, darkest, and sickest parts of you that you are too afraid to share with anyone, because i LOVE you that much... and sometimes when i try not to talk to you about what's on my mind, it doesn't mean i'm over it or that i feel better or that i'm ever going to be okay... I'm just too speechless till the words can't come out from my mouth...

And i just realised that i just wasted our moments. I don't take the time to say the things that are in my heart when i have a chance...
I just can't express my feeling to you ever since we both separate for a long time and met again.And i don't know how to start...
Maybe it will be easier just to express the feeling by text msg. Or i hope that my eyes can speak what my hearts want to say to you.



PS : The cat is DEFINITELY missing the bird...



♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

What my heart wants to say

Somewhere...

Between all of our laughs, long talks, stupid lil fight, and all of our jokes,

I FALL IN LOVE!


♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

Stay SINGLE and HAPPY!

Thinking too much has made me a lil bit crazy, mad and fool (again,again & again)... Can't help myself. You drive me crazy. and i don't wanna be like this. not anymore. Spending days and nites just to thinking about our "undone busniness"... too much question marks on my head. INSANE! It must have been LOVE, but it's OVER now!

Enough is enough. and i've made a very hard yet the best choices that i can. Although (still) it's like my mind (finally) knows what's right, but my heart is being retarded and still cares.
Agree or not. it's my decision... It must be much easier and comfortable if we are just FRIEND. just a FRIEND. i have no hard feeling about this... Really. It's just me who can't survive in the relationship like this.

My fav quote that really inspiring me is " If you cannot save the relationship, at least save your pride"... INDEED TRUE!
Although when you are gone, i will feel like a BIG PART of me has disappeared. But it's time to let YOU go on ur own way. so do I. Don't you ever heard that a REAL relationship happen when we are ready to be apart together?

Finally, all i have to do are to FORGIVE and FORGET. And FORGET to feel again.
And i'm welcoming you to my LIFE and my heart as my "FRIEND"
We'll be best friend. It's more than enough. Nobody will hurt.

27.02.2010
The (half) heartbroken girl...

Adjusting...

It hurts when you love someone and they don't love you back...
But i think, the worst hurt is when they already loved you before, and you didn't know it until they were over you.

And i guess, i was just one of those people who was supposed to walk in YOUR life, teach YOU a lesson of love and life, and then i'm walking out...

Is it mine or your fault? or our surrounding' ? No, it's not mine babieehh... I'm NORMAL. It's everybody else that needs adjusting. Yes, including YOU!

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

Can't get over YOU...

Another day has gone by...
and i hate to admit that i still heart YOU!
I miss YOU but i hate YOU too...
I totally can't get over YOU...
I want to find a right person and into right relationship...
not trapped in this bad relationship with YOU
Our big problem is we still have our bitter sides that we share from time to time...
A big question mark in my mind : WHEN do i really get over YOU?

Personal EGO!

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Spend my holiday with shopping...and i'm happy...no working for three days! woke up at 10....and sleep at 9 or 10! Haha..i'm a happy PIG.
Celebrate my new year's eve with family...family gathering and fireworks at 12...went home at 3...and sleep at 3.30...and it was quite good enough! received many New year's greetings by BBM,FB and also SMS....That were from my clients, brother, sisters, friends and families...
it should made me happy enough..but why i still sad?and hate to admit it. it was because of YOU who didn't greet me...I guess it was because of your PERSONAL EGO that made you didn't texted me...as usual, u want me to greet you first,right? hey man, wake up from ur dream! Can't you try to make any effort to make me happy?

Enough is enough...i don't wanna bother reserving a space in my heart for YOU who doesn't make any effort to stay!
I will find a heart that will LOVE me at my worst and the arms that will HOLD me at my weakest... and sure,that's not YOU!
I will never ever give up. because the beginning is always the hardest... and i'll try my best to make a new start. The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistake and weaknesses, and still think you are completely amazing. and the most important thing in relationship is : APOLOGIZING doesn't mean you are wrong and they're right... sometimes you just value the relationship more than YOUR personal ego!
It's so hard for you to say "I'm SORRY"...
i can't stand for it anymore...Goodbye to you THE LOVED of my life (read: JERK)..
I realizing that everyone will be "just a memory" sooner or later....

Yeap...JUST a memory of YOU!

02 Januari 2010

I hate to be HONEST!

02.December.2009

Yaiy...December is HERE! i love december a lot!
Beberapa alasan untuk selalu menantikan bulan DESEMBER adalah :
1. The Christmas Tree! (bongkar,cari & pasang)
2. Christmas Songs!
3. Kado NATAL! (walaupun tak pasti dapat kado..hehe...=p)
4. Christmas Day (Hari Natal hari terindah *bagiku* didalam 365 hari setahun)
5. LiBuRaN! (hopefully will go somewhere to spend this holiday!)

Disadari dengan sangat sadar bahwasanya beberapa alasan diatas alasan yang sangat umum dan tidak terlalu specal mungkin?huh?TAPI...aku tak peduliiii....=)

Oh ya,ada kisah dibalik kembalinya diriku untuk menge-post/meng-update blog ini setelah sekian lama mati suri....gw TERGODA gara-garanya twit's darls (setio & yliesan) mengungkit-ungkit cerita blog mereka...HAHA! tak mau kalah,gw sempetin untuk update juga dehhhh...
Padahal kalo mao meng-update sesuatu gw butuh konsentrasi tingkat tinggi....
Keknya lebih asik twitter-an deh....lebih simple dan gak perlu mikir panjang lebar....capek boooo!

My own problem yang dihadapi akhir-akhir ini...gw susah untuk JUJUR...yappp...bukannya susah untuk berkata jujur sih...ya..apa ya namanya?susah deh...
Ada juga kejadian akhir2 ini yang membuat gw menyesal....menyesal telah melakukan tindakan bodoh yang menyebabkan gw kehilangan seseorang yang sangat penting bagiku...Aihhh...andai waktu bisa kuputar kembali....=(

And another random fact : Gw makin gemuk dehhhh...=(((( Mungkin gara-gara stress kelamaan terombang ambing di tengah lautan tak jelas,pelampiasannya ke makanan kali ya???
Stress bermacam-macam membuat gw jadi susah percaya ma org...bawaannya curigaan terus...tapi seringkali curigaan gw itu terbukti loh!*percaya gak percaya?*
Gw hanya masi bingung,kenapa harus bohong kalo sebenarnya kebohongan itu tidak ada?(maksudnya mengarang cerita bohong). Nyari-nyari masalah bukan???

Mulai saat ini...pelajaran yang harus diterapkan terhadap diri sendiri adalah :
1. jangan terlalu berharap
2. mulailah belajar mengontrol emosi
3. tidak semua yang kita pikirkan itu benar terjadi
4. tidak semua orang baik tidak pernah berbuat dosa
5. dan tidak semua orang jahat selalu berbuat jahat
6. berhentilah kuatir dan menyesali apa yang telah terjadi

Dan mudah-mudahan kita akan lebih mudah dalam menjalani hidup ini...
Keep praying and ask GOD to lead our way....

Happy December everyone!
♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

Santaiiiii....=)

I'm so FREE!Holiday mode: ON!
Libur dimulai dari hari jumat..berarti 2 hari lagi...HOREEE!!!
Walaupun kabarnya ada Typhoon di HK dan China,i don't care...emank kenapa?gak ada yg kuatir kan ma gw?Haha...ok,my family will.for sure...tp,uda di check ke ybs disana,katanya biasa aja lagi...kejadian rutin tiap tahun...yasudahla...kalo dipikir-pikir ya sekalian pengalaman juga sih...emank sih kedengarannya pasrah banget ya?yes.gw pasrah...=p
btw,percaya KARMA gak?hehe...keknya gw lagi kena KARMA deh...anw,bukan karma yg BAIK sih...huhuhu...dan sialnya kenanya 2 hari berturut-turut...dan mungkin akan berlanjut lagi ke beberapa hari kedepan...baiklah,mungkin iman dan kesabaran gw lagi di uji...palingan kalo sudah tidak tahan,gw akan meledak..BUSHHHH!
Beberapa hari ini juga rencananya bakalan melakukan satu hal penting yang mendesak...tapi masih tak yakin dan ragu-ragu...

Yang pasti gw bakalan siap-siap menghadapi liburan yang mungkin akan menyenangkan atau bahkan menyebalkan???
One important thing! I'll be missing HIM so much during my HOLIDAY!
i.miss.you

Cao...Happy holidays!



♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

and my heart wins!

And my HEART wins!



Daripada bingung,aku mencoba membuat PLUS and MINUS lists untuk membantu diriku mempertimbangkan kembali apa yg telah terjadi...setelah berpikir begitu keras,hasilnya adalah emank kebanyakan MINUS nya....sebenarnya ini sangat diharapakan supaya bisa membantu diriku untuk segera illfeel dan melupakannya...
Tapiiiii,gw lupa cerita bahwasanya PLUS nya dia cuma 1...and u know wat it is???I LOVE HIM!
Nah,disini logika ku mulai macet lagi...hanya dengan 1 PLUS yg ada dalam list tersebut mampu mengalahkan beberapa points MINUS nya????
Still wondering!Dimana logika ku?dimana pemikiran2 panjang dan penuh pertimbangan kuuu???kenapa hanya perasaan yg mengendalikanku?
Ya,I guess this feeling is growing stronger and stronger everyday...
And,ok!YOU win!

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

This is my now

Aku butuh Dokter Cinta



Untuk pertama kalinya di dlm hidupku,perasaan ku menang mengalahkan logika ku...perasaan yg begitu tidak terbendungnya membuat ku semakin sensitif.aku tak mengerti apa yg telah terjadi pada diriku.untuk saat ini aku merasa sangat lemah dan tidak berdaya.
Hidup terasa hampa tanpa kehadirannya.banyak perbedaan-perbedaan yg sulit untuk dipersatukan.akan tetapi perasaan yg begitu kuat itu seolah ingin menenggelamkan perbedaan itu.akankah ku sanggup untuk bertahan di ketidakpastian ini?kapankah dapat kutemukan kebahagiaan yang tanpa beresiko seperti ini?
Kali ini kusadari apa yg dinamakan cinta.betapa menyakitkan mencintai itu.dan juga betapa indahnya dikala orang yg kita cintai juga mencintai kita.
Aku ingin mencoba menjalaninya.tapi juga takut ketika segala sesuatunya tidak dapat dipersatukan sebagaimana mestinya dan segalanya harus diakhiri.
Mungkin aku akan terluka dalam beberapa hari ini.mungkin.karena kusadari aku telah jatuh cinta padanya.aku tergila-gila padanya.
Saat ini,didalam hati dan pikiranku mengalun lagu "Bukan Cinta Biasa" dari Afgan.


♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

My life is complete...

I'm falling in LOVE



I feel up and down this few days....wohooo....sibuk menyelesaikan pekerjaan-pekerjaan sebelum holidayyy...2 more days...and i'll be free...have fun,go mad!hehe...
Banyak kesalahan-kesalahan bodoh yg terjadi beberapa hari ini...misalnya: beli bola lampu,maunya yg putih, yg kebeli yg warna kuning...
mau beli pasta gigi,terbeli yg khusus smokers...mau tak mau yah dipakai juga deh...asalkan jgn ada yg merhatiin,lalu pelototin ak dengan raut muka sepertinya ingin berkata "are u smokers?"...

Flu yang datang menyerang hampir tiap hari juga menjadi gangguan...hush hush hussshhh...pergi jauh plizz...sakit tenggorokan juga...apa ini tanda-tandanya suspect flu babi???Hahaa...

Dan juga beberapa hari ini keseringan chatting ama orang-orang baru,bbm ama org2 aneh...satu hal yg pasti,dengan mengenal orang-orang baru tersebut,hidup terasa lebih bergairah...dan memberikan inspirasi yang berbeda...

Oh...i miss my Xing very much...disaat butuh dan perlu dianya ntah kemana....pas gw gak perlu muncul pula dia....gw pengen cerita banyak hal ke dia...coz,cuma dia yg bisa gw percaya dan bisa memberikan gw saran,support dan solusi yang menurut gw begitu pas dengan apa yg gw inginkan....

and ...i think i really fall in love with someone....and for sure not Xing!
ok...talk about him later...

Xoxo

Hate this and Hate that

Hate this and hate that...


Hari yg sungguh melelahkan...bangun dengan kabar yg sungguh mengesalkan...suatu rencana yg sudah dibicarakan disepakati bersama,tiba-tiba salah satu pihak berubah pikiran dan berencana merubah rencana tersebut...hey,please!kita ini sudah sepakat,jangan buat tambah ngaco dan rumit donk!bete gw!sepertinya dia gak menyadari kalau dirinya sudah terlalu egois selama kita berdiskusi dan sampai akhirnya mengambil keputusan yg disepakati bersama...so,sorry kalo kali ini gw gak bisa ngikutin apa mau mu...gw juga punya hak donk...gw sih gak tau apa maksud terselubung u dengan mengubah rencana mu seenaknya...
Keseeellll gw!

Kesel gw juga didukung oleh capek yg luar biasa...you know what?I drove by myself to Binjai yesterday!Haha...Pulang pergi selama lbh kurang 3 jam....Sebuah prestasi yg cukup membanggakan!Haha!next time mungkin mau dicoba juga untuk nyetir ampe Lubuk Pakam atau Berastagi!=)

Beberapa hr ini hujan deras melulu...dan herannya,baru hujan beberapa saat,beberapa ruas jalan di kota Medan ini sudah banjir!Lama-lama mirip Jakarta ni...da macetnya minta ampun pada jam-jam tertentu,ditambah banjir pulak!gw selalu khawatir kalo da mulai banjir...takut mogok di jalan..takut kesambar petir....dan juga takut ada pohon jatuh...wihhh...serem ah!

Hari ini pengen ntn...ntn apa saja boleh...Benci Disko,Angels&Demons ataupun Fast&Furious...
Saatnya mandi dan bersiap-siap ke Gereja...
Happy Sunday!=)

I'm so in LOVE with my best friend!!!

Jason Mraz Lucky Lyrics

Not in the mood..!

Not in the MOOD!



Lagi males ngapa2in...badan pegel2 smua...hati dan pikiran lg kacau...ada beberapa job yg dibatalkan juga...haizzz....get some lose some!
Kadang-kadang gw berpikir hidup gw ini monoton...tiada perkembangan yg berarti...seharian bengong...jd takut melangkah...sebenarnya lg banyak kerjaan menumpuk...tp apa mau dikata...lg gak pengen ngapa2in...pengen liburan ke tempat yg jauh beberapa bulan!Haha...(Pengen cuti ajah kok susah ngungkapinnya???pake tedeng aling2 segala)=P
Tp,kalopun cuti sebenarnya gw gak bs sepenuhnya menikmatinya...pasti ada aja yg kepikiran...krn blon ada yg bisa di delegasikan tugas2 kantorku...

Kadang terbesit dipikiran ku untuk mencoba mencari lapangan pekerjaan baru...mgkn saja dgn begitu hidup ini akan terasa lebih menarik??
Ya mgkn hrs dicoba juga...tp gak sekarang dhe...masi bingung...

Anw,hr ini pengen ntn film indo "Bukan Cinta Biasa" dan "Janda Kembang"...tp masi nyusun rencana...pengen ke salon juga...biar sekalian keramas,sekalian massage...pegel bangetttt...!!!
Keknya da harus back to work dhe...kalo gak mau tambah bengong dan bakalan tambah malasss!!!!
Caooo....=)

Kesellll...!

Kesellll...!



Sudah 2hr ini gw kesel bangettt ma org yg gak sadar diri dan gak punya otak!no matter wat,I'll kill my cousin someday!
Tapi setelah dipikir2 ngapain juga ya gw panas hanya krn kata2 org tak berotak itu yg kerjanya hanya makan tidur???kalo g marah juga,tuh artiny gw sama aja donk ama dia!
Ya sudahlah...dinginkan kepala dan tenangkan hati dan pikiran...semoga saja gw bisa lebih bijaksana dalam menilai segala sesuatunya...
Dibalik semua kekesalan itu,beberapa hari ini,gw lagi semangat2nya kerja...sudah hampir 50% semua kerjaan menumpukku terselesaikan!GOOD!!!
I can't wait tom!my mom will back very soon!thx GOD!!!I feel like hell since she off to Penang....=(

Tom,I'll meet up with 3 of my bestie!we'll celebrate our 24th bday!!!
Okay...I wanna sleep now!and my BB is lowbatt now!
Good nite world....=)

So Blurrr...

So Blurrr...



Sudah beberapa hari sibuk tak menentu akhirnya diluangkanlah sedikit waktu untuk mengunjungi blog ku ini....
Banyak kesibukan yang tiada berarti...haha...tantangan makan,jalan-jalan,maen bowling,dll...
Pada saat yang benar2 butuh konsentrasi tinggi malah jadinya bengong sendiri....blurrr....malas ngapa2in...
Kadang mengetahui kebenaran sungguh menyakitkan...membuat semua rencana yg sudah tertata rapi menjadi buyar hanya karna mikirin hal gak penting itu...
Seperti saat ini...padahal kerjaan menumpuk...tapi kerjanya malah bengong dan nge-blog...hehehehe...
but it almost 5! Yipiiieee...dan hari ini ada tantangan makan lagi....menu of the daynya : Super Hot Black Pepper Spaghetti....Yuhuuuu....
Caooo...mau bertarung dolo...!